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I used to dream of being a famous music artist as a kid. My sister Monique and I used to be in the Sunshine Band at church when we were little. We always got the coveted solo parts, so I think that boosted my confidence, and belief in myself. Well into my twenties I always watched the Grammys. I believed it would be me one day. I’m positively sure, I’m not the only one, lol! I fantasized about accepting an award, and who I would thank for it. Always put God first of course. More on the Grammy dreams later though.
For now, I’m going to rewind a little bit and talk about the beginning of my music journey. Before ever dreaming about the Grammy Awards, I dreamt of being on Star Search. It was the show to be on if you wanted to be “discovered” so-to-speak. I remember being fourteen years old working at Burger King, coming home from work on a Saturday, and I shared with my dad that I wanted to be on Star Search. He told me that I was never going anywhere, and in so many words that I wouldn’t be anything. It was discouraging. Needless to say I returned to my job feeling disappointed that I would be at work, while other kids with aspirations like mine were able to pursue their dreams. It hurt a lot. What that said to me is that my dreams didn’t matter, and my dad didn’t believe in me. Looking back he was the type of dad that always made fun of me every time I’d sing, he’d howl like a dog to be funny. I can still hear the sound of his howl now. Crushing.
I kept dreaming to myself. Though I didn’t have the confidence or support to follow through with it, (until later in life, but that story is for another time). I’m sure by now you might be thinking where was your mom, didn’t she support you? I didn’t tell my mom what my dad said to me, nor did I bother with it. She had enough on her plate, and she was always busy working at least two jobs at a time, and trying to keep my dad from killing her most days. Are you wondering why she worked two or more jobs at a time? My dad was always gambling the money he earned away, and spending it on his side-pieces aka mistresses. So my mother was constantly hustling to keep food, and clothes on our backs.
Yes, I grew up in a dysfunctional home, yet I had the audacity to dream. Having a dream gave me hope…. Thanks for listening, stay tuned, there’s more to come.
Love this!!!!!